In this TED Talk, Gloria Chan Packer examines why the phrase “we’re like family” at work can be harmful despite its positive intent. She explains that calling work a family blurs boundaries and leads many employees to sacrifice their needs, fueling burnout cycles. Gloria defines boundaries as the ability to recognize, communicate, and act on personal needs whether for rest, space, or support and warns that repressing those needs for too long becomes unhealthy.
Drawing on her own story, Gloria describes nearly a decade of 80–100-hour workweeks, constant travel, and relentless pursuit of early promotions. This overcommitment led to chronic migraines and a forced leave of absence. She recalls realizing that she had tied her entire self-worth to work, a belief that had to be dismantled to rebuild a healthier life. This experience taught her that many burnout behaviors are rooted in childhood patterns of perfectionism and people-pleasing that no longer serve us as adults.
Gloria emphasizes that workplace change alone will not solve burnout if individuals do not address these internal patterns. She encourages listeners to take accountability for their own behavioral “blueprints,” update outdated coping mechanisms, and set clear boundaries.
Her practical advice includes three steps: use clear, precise language instead of “we’re like family”; practice boundary-setting by pausing before agreeing to commitments and communicating needs with their impacts; and invest in mental health support, normalizing therapy and coaching as we do with medical or financial advisors.
Gloria concludes by urging viewers to integrate mental and emotional well-being into daily life, creating workplaces that sustain both performance and people. The talk reframes success as a balance between achievement and self-care, offering a path toward healthier, more resilient work cultures.
